What Could Have Been
by MelodyFernEvens
Summary: What if a single word that came from Snape was omitted? Mudblood. The whole story shifts and changes. I don't know how far I will go but we shall see.
1. I Can Love

Prologue: I Can Love

'_All right, Snivillus?' said James Potter loudly._

_His hand was inside his robes and his wand was half-way into the air when James Potter shouted 'Expelliarmus!'_

_Severus's wand flew 12 feet into the air and fell with a little thud on the grass behind him. Sirius Black let out a bark of laughter._

'_Impedimenta!' he said, pointing his wand at Severus, who was knocked off his feet half -way through a dive for his own fallen wand._

_Students all round had turned to watch. Some of them had got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, some entertained._

_James Potter and Sirius Black advanced on him, wands raised, Potter glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went. Pettigrew was on his feet now watching hungrily, edging around Lupin for a clearer view._

'_How'd the exam go, Snivelly?' said Potter._

'_I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment', Sirius Black said viciously, 'There'll be grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word.'_

_Several people watching laughed_**.**_ Pettigrew sniggered shrilly. Severus tried to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he struggled, as though bound by invisible ropes._

'_You-wait,' he panted, staring up at Potter with an expression of purest loathing, 'you- wait!'_

'_Wait for what?' said Sirius Black coolly. 'What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?'_

_Severus let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened._

'_Wash out your mouth,' said James Potter coldly. 'Scourgify!' _

_Pink soap bubbles streamed from Severus' mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him-_

'_Leave him ALONE!'_

_Potter and Black looked round. James Potter's free hand immediately jumped to his hair._

_It was one of the girls from the lake edge. Thick, dark red hair fell to her shoulders, and startlingly green almond-shaped eyes_.

_All right, Evans?' said Potter, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper more mature._

'_Leave him alone,' Lily repeated. She was looking at Potter with every sign of great dislike. 'What's he done to you?'_

'_Well,' said Potter, appearing to deliberate the point, 'It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean...'_

_Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn't, and nor did Lily._

'_You think you're funny,' she said coldly, 'But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.'_

'_I will if you go out with me Evans,' said James Potter quickly. 'Go on...go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again_**,'**

'_I wouldn't go out with you if it was the choice between you and the Giant Squid,' said Lily._

'_Bad Luck, Prongs,' said Sirius briskly, and turned back to Severus. 'OI!'_

_But too late, Severus had directed his wand straight at Potter; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James Potter's face, spattering his robes with blood. Potter whirled about; a second flash of light later, Severus was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants._

_Many people in the small crowd cheered; Black, Potter and Pettigrew roared with laughter._

_Lily's furious expression twitched for an instant, as though she was going to smile_, _'Let him down!'_

'_Certainly,' said Potter and he jerked his wand upwards; Severus fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius Black said, 'Petrificus Totalus!' and Severus keeled over again as rigid as a board. _

'_LEAVE HIM ALONE!' Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. Potter and Black eyed it warily._

'_Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you,' said Potter earnestly._

'_Take the curse off him then!'_

_James Potter sighed deeply, then turned to Severus and muttered the counter-curse._

'_There you go,' he said as Severus struggled to his feet. 'You're lucky Evans was here, Snivillus –'_

'_I don't need help from__**…from…from anyone!' He turned and marched away angrily.**_

"_**Severus!" Lily called after him. She shot Potter an angry glare and ran after Snape.**_

October 30, 1981

All my life there has been hatred. Starting with my father then it continued to the rest of the world. Hatred is awful to live with because it eats at you from the inside out and makes everything beautiful ugly. You because tangled in it until you almost suffocate. But in my darkness I found a light. From then on I have fought to reach it and escape the hatred. For so long it was out of my reach, an inch from my outstretched fingers. I finally reached it. It has changed me forever.

I smiled softly as despite the war raging outside of my happy circle. I gazed at my beautiful red-haired wife and my dark haired son in her arms. She whispered a lullaby in his ear. His emerald eyes so much like his mother's slowly closed. She had insisted on the name Harry so Harry it was.

She looked up at me and smiled. "What could you be daydreaming about Severus?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I am not sure if I have Snape's worst memory completely correct but in bold is what I changed. I have nothing against James. I love him with all my heart and I love the original story but this one is all mine. :) **

**Chapter Song: She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5 (because he always loved her but she always belonged to someone else.)**

**Quote in the chapter title: The Half blood Prince, Chapter 23, Paragraph 141**


	2. Happiness

Chapter 1: Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

November 1, 1981

I looked up from my book. James had finally fallen asleep. The fire whiskey bottles decorated the floor around his sofa. I shook my head. If we weren't best friends I would slap him upside the head and tell him to get a grip.

We were in a small house in Ireland. After James had heard about Lily's marriage with Snape he had grown overly aggressive. I had suggested to Dumbledore that we could do some jobs outside of London and drag James away from Lily and distract him. Since then we have been traveling around fighting creatures that are on Voldemort's behalf and gaining allegiance with others. Here in Ireland we have not been able to get the leprechaun's to help but all we have accomplished is a promise not to join Voldemort.

Now with nothing to distract him, James had fallen into a deep depression. Of course his ever wise best friend. Sirius Black, provided the best solution: fire whiskey.

James groaned and rolled onto the floor. He awoke with a startle cry.

"Well," I frowned disapprovingly "Sleeping Beauty has awaked"

"More like Frankenstein is alive" Sirius said coming into the room. He took a bottle out of James's reach. For a hopeful moment I thought Sirius was finally helping, and then he took a swing of the bottle and handed it back to James.

"Seriously Sirius?" I asked giving up on my book. He glared.

"Lupin, don't take my name in vain." He said gravely.

"Sirius, your making James an alcoholic." I ignored his last comment.

"What?" Sirius exclaimed. "He's perfectly fine." James started making gurgling sounds with the whiskey in his throat.

Before I could reply, Dumbledore was calling from the fireplace.

"James! Sirius! Remus!" He called "Quick!"

"Dumbledore what is it?" I asked rushing to the fireplace.

"Dumbledore!" Sirius skitted to my side. "Whatsgoingon?"

"The Longbottoms are being attacked." He said in a don't panic voice. "The other members are occupied. I need backup. Come quickly" His face disappeared.

I ran to gather the few necessaries. I returned to the room with a small sack. I took some Floo powder from a small container I had in my pocket.

"Sirius get James." I ordered. I threw the powder into the fire. "Longbottom Residence!"

~~ /(|)\ ~~

I gracefully stepped out of the fireplace just to be knocked over by Sirius who had James in tow. I found myself under the weight of Sirius and James.

We finally disentangled from each other. I straightened up quickly when I heard a loud and long scream.

"What do we do with James?" Sirius asked. He was leading him to a couch nearby "He's too drunk."

"Here" I pulled the Invisibility Cloak from James's pocket and put it over him. I made a quick Sleeping Charm and a Shield Charm.

Another piercing scream cut through the air. I fought against my instinct to run away and instead started running up a narrow staircase toward the sound. I vaguely became aware of Dumbledore and Moody behind me. I opened the door at the top of the staircase and could suddenly hear everything the door had blocked.

"I know you know you filthy creatures" A woman's voice rang out. "Where is my master? Where is my Dark Lord? He hasn't been heard of for a whole day. _Crucio!_"

"But we-" Another one of those horrible scream shattered the air. Now I could understand why the screams were the only thing we could hear across the door.

I turned sharply into what I supposed was the master bedroom. Four heads turned at the newly arrived, the element of surprise on our side.

"_Expelliormus_" Dumbledore managed to take two wands before we were attacked.

"_Crucio!"_ I now recognized Bellatrix Lestrange. I blocked her spell, which was very strong, probably because of practice.

"_Stupefy_" Sirius jumped up in front of me.

"_Protego!_" I shielded from one of Lestrange's spells. I looked around and satisfied that Dumbledore, Moody, and Sirius were doing pretty good, gently summoned Alice's and Frank's bodies toward our side.

I checked them and found that their limp bodies still had life. I raked my mind for any healing spells I could think of.

"_Anapneo_…uh… _Episkey_… erm… _Ferula_" I yanked at my hair frustrated. None of these helped. If only I could prepare a tonic to help with the pain.

I gently brushed some stray blonde locks from Alice's overly pale face. I looked over at Frank and bit my lip. Hard.

"I'm sorry, mate." I whispered. I stood in front of them to protect them from any stray spells and send spells to anyone who needed them.

That was perhaps the fastest we have been able to defeat a pack of Death Eaters. By the time some Aurors appeared, they were well defeated. As they took care of the Death Eaters, Sirius contacted St Mungo's . I sat with the ever still Longbottoms. I couldn't help but remember how the ever unlucky Frank constantly was caught entangled in James's and Sirius's mischief.

Dumbledore come over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. I smiled sadly up at him.

"Moody has gone with the Aurors to sentence the Death Eaters. I will accompany the Longbottoms to St Mungo's." Dumbledore said. "Why don't you and Sirius get James and go rest."

I nodded and stood.

"Remus."

"Yes, Professor?" I still thought of him as such.

"These are dark times but there will be light soon" He said confident and I knew there was something he wanted to tell me but this wasn't the time.

I nodded.

~~ /(|)\ ~~

Sirius and I slowly made our way down the staircase in silence, each lost in our own thoughts. I approached the couch. My hand swiped through the air. Confused I waved it in the air above the couch.

"Uh, Sirius?" I asked.

"What?" He asked startled from being taken out of his thoughts.

Again I waved my hands over the couch.

"What in the world are yo-" Sirius stopped "Oh great Merlin" He started waving his hands over the couch too.

"Great" I buried my face in my hands. "James is lost, drunk, and under the Invisibility Cloak."

"Not to mention we just had a battle where there could have been a stray spell and-" Realization grew on his face. "Oh"

We both made a run for the staircase again. How many times where we going to have to do this? We burst into the same bedroom and fell to our knees. We started searching.

"James?"

"Prongs?"

"James! Answer me!"

"Come on, James!"

I was starting to panic.

"Okay, don't panic" I said.

"I'M NOT PANICKING!"

"Okay well, once James comes to he will take of the cloak and look for us." I said trying to be rational.

"UNLESS HE IS DEAD!" Sirius threw his arms into the air.

"It's a good thing you're not panicking."

"ARGHH!"

We continued to search for another ten minutes. My knees hurt from crawling around. I sat up and whipped my hands on my pants.

"Sirius, what if he's not even in here?" I asked.

"Fine let's look somewhere else." He said standing up.

I led the way out the door and into the room next door. I stopped short. Sirus dumped into me.

I stared at James. The cloak was forgotten on the floor. He was holding a baby in his arms. I had forgotten that the Longbottoms had a son. That just made the situation 10 times worse.

As I stared I noticed tears in James eyes and running down his face. I've seen him cry recently but this wasn't drunken tears. They were as sincere as if it were his own child. Sirius push forward trying to get through.

"What's going on?" He asked "Why did you stop?"

"Sirius" I answered carefully "It looks like you're going to be a mum"

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Song: One Wish by Ray J (because growing up he was a fool but if he could only have one wish...)<strong>

**Quote in Chapter Title: ****The Prisoner of Azkaban****, Film**


	3. The Bravest Man

**A/N:** **Just so there is no confusion- Snape has rejected the Death Eaters of course infuriating the Dark Lord. There also is no prophecy about the downfall of Voldemort.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 2: The Bravest Man I Ever Knew<p>

October 31, 1981

I had come to the attic to get a charm book for Lily but its strange how when you are looking for something you find other things that distract you. I opened another trunk to find my old Hogwarts school books. I looked through them and noticed my Potions book was missing.

I would have to find time to look for it. A dark spine caught my eye. I reached for it. I pulled the heavy book out and gasped. It was the Dark Arts book I was obsessed about back in school. I felt cold remembering how this book almost got me a spot in the Death Eater's circle. I knew Lily would disapprove but curiosity chewed on me.

With shaking hands I brought the book up to my face. I whispered the unlocking spell. It recognized my voice after half a decade. It opened silently to the middle of the book. I took a jagged breath and stared at it. The book had been my only companion after Lily and I drifted apart for a while. The book was ever changing and had some of the oldest and darkest curses and hexes.

"_Certa Mors" _I whispered the spell on the page. It sent shivers down my spine at the sound. I read the text bellow.

_Certa Mors:_

_Certain death for your enemy. This powerful spell can only be performed by the most powerful magical beings. It is used when there is no hope of the caster to win. It will bring painful and slow death not only to the target but to the caster as well. All internal organs shrivel slowly and painfully…_

I tore my eyes from the page. There was much more description and pictures just as gory. Even though I still felt certain pull to the Dark Arts I refused to follow it because of all the talks I had had with Lily. A different sort of pull came when thinking about Lily. I carefully put the book back and closed the trunk and continued to look for Lily's book.

~~ /(|)\ ~~

"I found it Lily" I said coming into Harry's room with her.

"It's about time." She said with I smile. "I thought you had fallen into a trunk and I was going to have to go up there and yank you out."

"Are you saying I'm incapable of getting myself out of a trunk?" I asked handing her the book.

"Well," She shrugged and started opening the book "You know men."

I laughed. She found what she was looking for and proceeded in putting several safety charms in the room. In the current war situation, Lily and I agreed in keeping Harry as safe as magically possible. What Lily didn't know was that I myself had also charmed her necklace that she always wore.

"There" she said putting her wand away. "That's all the charms I could remember and all the ones I could find in this book."

I smiled but then just as quickly frowned. I felt shivers up and down my spine. I felt the same kind of cold I got as when I remembered how close I had been to becoming a Death Eater. My suspicious nature took over and heightened my senses.

"Lily, stay here." I said briskly.

"Severus what is it?" She asked startled by my voice. Her beautiful eyes searched an answer in my dark ones. I took hold of her shoulders and kissed her forehead.

"Stay here." I repeated. I took my wand and walked out of the room wearily. The usual brightness of the house seemed darker and foreboding. I took a deep breath and tried to keep my wand hand steady. I stalked across the front room to the front door. A shield spell was already forming in my mind. Just as I was opening the door I heard a crack from the other side of the door.

I swung it open and came face to face with the man or, more precisely, the being who had at one time almost become my master. Nobody turned their back on the Dark Lord after being so close to him. I am guessing he didn't take it very kind that some of his secrets where spilt to the Order of the Phoenix.

"Crucio!"

"Protego!" I exclaimed a fraction of a second before the Dark Lord.

"Snape" He said, venom dripping from every letter.

"Voldemort" I said back.

"Happy little life you have been leading so I've heard." His wand carelessly pointed at me.

"I have until recently" I answered not paying attention to our conversation but to every move he made ready for anything.

"Now Snape, you know you have defied the Dark Lord and he does not like that."

"I imagine." I said noticing his hand twitch slightly. I gripped my wand harder hoping the sweat wouldn't make it slip.

"Conjunctivis"

I swiftly dodged it. And sent an unarming spell, which he easily dodged.

"You would have made a decent Death Eater Severus if you had not betrayed me." He smiled without any amusement. "These spells are juvenile compared to our abilities."

A sudden idea came to me. The idea was only half formed when I realized I would not live. Looking at Voldemort I knew I would not live for tomorrow anyway but perhaps this way I could help Lily and little Harry.

I took a jagged breath; it was a hard thing to accept your death. Voldemort smirked, taking my jagged breath as a sign of fear. I stared at him and thought of how much I hated him. All those people he had hurt and all those he would hurt. I focused my hatred into my magic letting it build up inside of me.

_Hatred is not the strongest, Snape. _I heard Dumbledore's words inside of me. I understood it's meaning. In the large soup of hatred boiling up my magic, I added love. The love I had for Lily and for Harry.

Voldemort stared at me strangely, he had been speaking to me but he did not know what was going on in my head. That was when my emotions and magic reached its breaking point. He must have sensed my attack because he raised his wand.

"Av-" But too late

"C_erta Mors" _I my magic and power weighed in those words. Black smoke ejected from my wand and for a sickening moment I thought it hadn't worked. But the smoke swirled at lightning speed toward Voldemort, his mouth open in a silent scream. He crumbled to the ground.

There was a gasp and I turned to see Lily. She looked at me and screamed. I turned back again to see the black smoke coming for me. I stood firm as the smoke swirled around me from my feet and moving upward.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Song: The Bravest Man I Ever Knew by Ministry of Magic (because he [obviously] was the bravest man I ever knew. ) <strong>

**Quote In The Chapter Title: The Deathly Hallows, Chapter 36, Epilogue**


	4. Always

Chapter 3: Always

November 1, 1981

I clutched Harry to my chest to protect against a chill. He whimpered in protest. I loosened up, but only a little. I breathed in a jagged breath as I caught sight of a sign: Privet Drive.

'_...I'm sorry, Tuney, I'm sorry! Listen- 'She caught her sister's hand and held tight to it, even though Petunia tried to pull it away.' Maybe once I'm there – no, listen, Tuney! Maybe once I'm there I'll be able to go to Professor Dumbledore and persuade him to change his mind!'_

'_I don't- want – to – go!' said Petunia, and she dragged her hand back out of her sister's grasp. 'You think I want to go to some stupid castle and learn to be a – a-'_

_Her pale eyes roved over the platform, over the cats mewling in their owners' arms, over the owls fluttering and hooting at each other in the cages, over the students, some already in their long, black robes, loading trunks onto the scarlet steam engine or else greeting one another with glad cries after a summer apart._

'_- you think I want to be a – a freak?'_

I shook my head to get rid of the memory. I couldn't have her mad at me. Not know. I needed her. I desperately needed a sister to listen to me and to just be there.

I walked up to Number 4. Everything looked just like Tuney would want it. Utterly dull. No that was a mean thought. It was just very organized.

I knocked on the door softly a part of myself scared and the other desperate. After waiting a few moments I knocked harder.

"Hello?" A woman opened the door and stopped immediately.

"Petunia." I sighed in relief. She suddenly tried to close the door. "No! Tuney, please listen to me."

"I don't want to hear it. I don't care about your freak life." She said strangely sounding like a little girl instead of the grown woman that she was.

"Petunia please." I begged close to tears. "I just need to talk to you. I just-"

She closed the door. I stared at the closed door choking on my unshed tears. What was I going to do? I didn't have money to keep paying the house I had lived in Severus. I had a child that needed me here in my arms and an empty heart burning in my chest.

"What are we going to do Harry?" I whispered to my now asleep son.

I raked through my mind trying to find someone I could talk to. I have never been a very social person but there were times that you needed people. In my current state I could not think of anyone so I decided to head for London. I needed to be in the magical world.

~~ /(|)\ ~~

In a daze, I apparited in front of the Leaky Cauldron instead of inside of it. I stated to go in when I noticed movement in the bookshop neighboring it. My slow eyes caught a glimpse of frizzy dark hair. It stuck my memory enough to motivate me to walk in warily.

"Hello?" I asked softly not sure if I wanted a answer.

"Yes?" A girl stepped behind a book shelf. She had dark frizzy hair carelessly puled into a rubber band. Her large hair around her face made it look small. Her large round glasses made it even smaller. Her unflattering clothes hung to her wiry frame. Yet she couldn't have been the most beautiful being in the universe at the moment. "Lily? Is that you?"

"Linda." I breathed almost at breaking point. "Linda McGregor."

"Lily, are you all right?"

That question broke me.

_I watched with wide eyes as Lord Voldemort crumbled with horrible pain. My mind was being too slow for what I was seeing. The dreadful smoke left Voldemort behind and came for Severus. My mind was at least fast enough to recognize danger. I opened my mouth, not sure if anything came out. Severus turned to look at me. He bravely stood there as the smoke swirled around his ankles._

_I rushed to him as he fell to the ground in obvious pain.I didn't even fear the smoke around him as I knelt by him. I cradled his head over my lap._

"_Severus" I anxiously searched his face. "No Severus."_

"_I love you." He said with alarming weakness. "I love Harry. Tell him … it was for him. For you."_

"_Severus … please" I bit back tears._

"_I want you to be happy ... Find Potter … I know he will make you happy." He tried to smile but failed."He will love you … and Harry."_

"_Severus, don't even think that. I love you." I shook my head."Don't. Don't go" I mumbled like a fearful child who didn't want to accept what was happening._

"_I will … always … be here … with you" He tried to reach for my face but couldn't go far so I brought my face to his raised hand. " Always"_

"_Severus." I choked out._

_"Look...at...me." Green found black. The hand holding Lily thudded to the floor, and_ _Snape moved no more._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Song: Hello by Evanescence (because Lily knows she isn't dreaming, she is all that is left of yesterday.)<strong>

**Quote in Chapter Title: The Deathly Hallows, Chapter 33: The Prince's Tale**


	5. Four Years Later

Chapter 4: Four Years Later

July 6, 1985

"Neville Longbottom Potter Lupin Black. Don't you dare not eat those!" Sirius exclaimed when Neville made a face at the vegetables. "You know they are good for you. James tell him something."

Neville turned his cute little fat five-year-old face to James. James stared for a minute like a true father.

"Eat what you can Neville." He finally said.

"What?" Sirius seemed truly outraged. "Do you know how much time I put into lunch? You never appreciate what I do around here!"

"Come on Neville. Let's eat in the dining table." I said standing. "We will leave your dramatic mother to himself."

"I am not being dramatic!" He said.

"Strange that you object more at being called dramatic than being called a mother" I said shaking my head and leading Neville into the next room.

"Why are they always fighting?" Little Neville asked after he had settled down. I noticed that he ate the vegetables. A wise boy.

"It's a parent thing." I replied eating my own vegetables. We wouldn't want to make Mother Padfoot mad again.

"Am I too much of a bother?" He asked me. He was constantly surprising me with this question. Like he needed to be reassured regularly.

"Of course not!" I consoled him. "You've actually made us mature. James finally has a purpose and Sirius is oddly in touch with his feminine side now."

James and Sirius chose this time to join us.

"I am not!" Sirius protested.

James glanced at Sirius's attire and shook his head.

"Mate, you're wearing an apron." He said.

"It's only to keep my clothes clean." Sirius countered "If you haven't noticed, we are living in a bachelor house where no one wants to do the laundry."

James, Sirius, Neville, and I were living in a small yellow house in Godric's Hollow where we had many wizarding neighbors. Like Sirius said, we were all bachelors and none of us wanted to do the laundry. Sometimes neighboring witches offered to help with the domestic chores but we had too much pride to accept.

At that moment I heard someone knocking. No one else had noticed so I guess it was my job. I got up to answer, leaving behind Sirius and James to continue their discussion.

"Hello Andromeda." I greeted our newly arrived guest. Her twelve year old daughter stood defiantly with one hand on her hips and the other holding a sucker. "Hello Nymphadora"

"Tonks" Nymphadora corrected popping her sucker back in.

"Hello Remus" Andromeda greeted warmly. She pushed Nymphadora forward. "Would it be all right if I left Nymphadora for a few minutes while I run an errand?"

"Tonks" Nymphadora corrects again.

"Of course." I hid a smile. Andromeda is constantly on errands. "Come on in, Nymphadora."

"Tonks" She said but walked in anyway.

"Thank you, Remus. You're an angel." Andromeda smiled and was off. I held back from good-naturedly rolling my eyes.

"Can we go to Diagon Alley?" Nymphadora asked. "I need just some books for when school starts."

"Isn't school until September?" I asked. She shrugged. I ran a hand through my hair."Sure. I need to buy some things anyway." I led her to the dining room where James and Sirius were still bickering.

"There is nothing to it." James insisted.

"If you think I am going to do your dirty laundry you may as well go to- hey it's Nymphadora." Sirius switched topics.

"Tonks." She corrected. "And come on you're taking me to Diagon Alley."

"Great we adopt a kid and now everyone thinks we are free babysitters." James sighed.

"I don't need to be babysat." Nymphadora scowled.

"I want to go to Diagon Alley!" Neville piped up.

Both James and Sirius looked at him with pure adoration.

"Sure why not?" James gave in.

~~ /(|)\ ~~

July 6, 1985

"You know how in books rain seems so romantic?" Lin asked. She shook her long matted hair and water droplets sprayed everywhere. "Well it's not. It is cold, wet, uncomfortable, makes my clothes stick to me, and my hair smell funny."

"You could have used an umbrella or a spell, Linda" I lowered my voice even though there was no one in the store at the moment.

Linda's bookshop was a normal, old-looking muggle store where costumers rarely came in. Toward the back was a hidden door that was magically connected to a stationary shop inside of Diagon Alley that Linda also owned and actually made money from. Linda, little Harry, and I were the only ones that knew about that door. Linda, being a Ravenclaw her Hogwarts years, somehow figured out how to do that.

"Don't call me _Linda._" She rolled her eyes. "Did you know it means lovely? And I don't care if I get wet, it's just uncomfortable."

Linda McGregor was my last remaining true friend from my school years. Once I started leaning more toward Severus, I suddenly found myself friendless. Except for Lin, but she kept her nose in a book so much of the time I don't know if she even knew what was going on. I think that to this day she doesn't know how she ended up as my only friend but I don't think she cares.

"Hey Harry." She said plopping into a chair only she knew was there under all those books. Linda wasn't the book lover that took extra care with their beloved books. Instead she was a book eater that would feverously devour them. Her books had dog-eared edges and notes in the margins. She left her books everywhere yet knew exactly were each was. I once made the mistake of taking a nap in her bed only to be poked by three books under the covers and one under her pillow.

"Hello Aunt Lin" Harry answered not looking up from his own book. Linda had him just as addicted to books except that Harry was a careful book lover. He slipped a black ribbon between the pages. "Can we get some ice-cream?"

"In this weather, sweetie?" I asked raising an eyebrow. He nodded. I guess anytime is ice-cream time for a five-year-old. "Sure. I need to get away from these order forms. Coming Lin?"

After Severus's death, I have had many of my old friends and some new come back to me. I pushed them away, however, because I knew they were only attracted to the fame I had as Voldemort's killer's wife. They had not even liked him. They had offered money because of my financial situation but I had refused. I only accepted the reward for killing the most wanted wizard that should have been Severus's and put it into an account for Harry and his future schooling. Linda did not seem aware of anything.

"No you two go ahead." She waved me away without looking up from her book. I sighed. Harry also was acquiring that annoying habit of not looking at who you are talking to. "Come on, Linda. You can bring the book."

I frowned when she didn't even answer. If it were up to her, she would burrow herself in these books and never get out. I pulled out my wand and sent a small tickling spell.

After a sudden outburst of unladylike laughter (complete with some snorting), Linda stood with dignity. She walked past us as if it had been her intention all along. "Well, are we not going?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay don't forget that this is another Harry. This is Harry Snape not Harry Potter. Neville is also different because he was raised by the marauders instead of his grandmother. Also, can anybody guess where I got Lin's last name, McGregor? It has to do with a Hogwarts professor.**

**Chapter Song: We Will Meet Again by Pokemon (*hint hint*)**


	6. Time is making Fools

Chapter 5: Time is making fools of us again

July 6, 1985

"Well at least the rain stopped." I said trying to be cheerful. Harry, being a man of few words, nodded. He reminded me so much of Severus. The familiar pang struck my chest, but thanks to Lin's help it wasn't overwhelming. I even smiled sometimes now when I remembered him.

I turned back to wait for Lin who had lagged behind with her book. I watched her walk in a sort of limp only a close friend would notice. I bit my lip.

She has had that since third year when Sirius and James were dueling with Severus. I had finally stopped it but a stray spell had hit an unfortunate Ravenclaw girl who had her face in a book. I ran after her to ask if she was okay. That's when we became friends but she refused to acknowledge that she had been hurt. She didn't go to the hospital wing and never mentioned it. I soon learned that she had a weird and extreme pride.

She finally caught up with up with us. We ate our ice-creams at a table outside the Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor since it had stopped raining. I turned my face upward, loving the moist feeling after it rained, and smiled. It was refreshing.

"Will you look at that?" Lin gestured toward some wizards.

I squinted. They seemed vaguely familiar.

~~ /(|)\ ~~

I sort of lagged behind the group, not really feeling their high spirits. Dreary days did that to me. Lily used to love rainy days. I knew because she was the only girl who did not try to escape the water when we were in school. She used to look up at the sky and she would get this strange smile on her face. Like she knew something the rest of the world didn't. I wonder if she still did.

Lupin turned and gave me a sad smile. He was the only one who understood…to a certain extent. I wish he didn't have pity on me. I wasn't pitiful, I was in love. There is a difference.

I looked at the display on the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies. I hadn't played in a long time. I should ask Sirius if he was up for a game later.

Lupin turned quickly back at me. His eyes were full of warning. I looked at him questionably. He indicated toward the ice cream parlor up ahead. No one else seemed alarmed so only Lupin knew what he was talking about. I looked up and saw three teenagers at a table who were leaving. Two ladies sat at another table with a little boy about Neville's age. My heart nearly stopped.

One was openly watching us. She was not an exceptional beauty and I am sure I had never met her before but her companion was the complete opposite. I knew her from my memories and dreams. A couple years had done nothing to her pretty face that was now turned toward the sky like I've always remembered her. The other woman said something to Lily. She turned and squinted at our group.

"Hello Lily. Hello Linda." Lupin greeted. I guess he knew the dark haired woman. He smiled. "It's been so long."

"Yes it has." Lily smiled back at him. "Hello, Black. Potter."

I expected the world to explode. It didn't.

"Hullo." We mumbled back.

"And who's this." She turned to Neville and Tonks.

"This is Neville Longbottom and Nymphadora Tonks." Lupin introduced them.

Tonks, not feeling any of the awkwardness the rest of us had, walked up to Lily and shook her hand firmly. "Tonks"

I could tell Lily immediately liked her. She was that way. She liked everyone. Except me. At least the way I wanted her to.

Neville shyly approached to follow Tonk's lead and shake her hand. Lily beamed at him as if he was the most precious thing. She introduced the little dark-haired boy. I already knew who he was. He was her son. I looked at him curiously and couldn't help but wonder if he could have been my son.

I shook my head at the ridiculousness. I had to stop daydreaming. It has been 8 years since we graduated Hogwarts. I was an adult now at age 28, yet why couldn't I get over a school crush? It frustrated me.

Lily and Linda stood, startling me from my thoughts. The whole group started walking. I felt the what-is-going-on feeling that you get when you're not paying attention and you're too embarrassed to ask. So I just followed along.

We were walking back the way we had come. I strained to overhear anything that would help me figure out what was going on.

"I just need more parchment." Lupin was saying. "I didn't know you two ran a store"

"Yes and a muggle book shop." Lily nodded. I noticed that her hair swayed to the sides when she walked. _Focus, _I mentally slapped myself.

We entered a stationary shop. I guess this is the shop they were talking about. It was a writer's heaven. There were shelves and stacks of different kinds of parchment. There were quills, magical and non. There was scented and color changing inks.

I was looking at an invisible ink when a large barn owl flew through the open door. He dropped a letter on the table in front of Lily. She curiously opened the letter. Linda brought a small bowl of water for the owl.

"Oh my." Lily exclaimed after reading it twice.

"What?" Linda asked coming up behind her and reading over her shoulder.

"It's Dumbledore." Lily looked up at us. "He wants me to go for an Order meeting. At his office at Hogwarts."

"Weird, we didn't get anything." Lupin wondered.

"He must have sent it." Linda shrugged. "We'll let's go."

"Wait, since when are you in the Order of the Phoenix?" Sirius asked.

"I'm not." Linda answered "But I will be now."

~~ /(|)\ ~~

Strange how, of my years at Hogwarts, never was I introduced to Professor Dumbledore's office. I was pretty good at keeping out of the spotlight. I followed Lily up another staircase, fully aware of James's eyes searching around me to Lily. Poor man was obsessed, and Lily barely noticed.

We had left Harry and the boy, Neville, with the other girl Tonks. I could just imagine the kind of destruction that they were doing to my store.

The whole group came to a stop. We came face to face with a gargoyle. I hated gargoyles.

"Now what?" Black asked.

Just then the thing leapt to the side. A long white haired wizard stepped out from the hole left behind the gargoyle. I had never seen Professor Dumbledore up close before. He seemed like a pleasant fellow. I think.

"Good you are all here. I was just on my way to find you." He waved us in. I put my hand on Lily's arm as we walked past the gargoyle. I heard Black snort but I didn't look back at him.

We entered Dumbledore's office. It was so strange and full of trinkets and unusual things. I started to touch something but decided to stay by Lily's side instead. Bravery was not one of my strong points. I felt strange in the headmaster's office, like I was in trouble or something.

"Such a good thing you are all here." Professor Dumbledore settled himself behind his desk. I watched him carefully. He seemed oddly twitchy.

"Four years ago, as you may know" He started. "Snape killed the Dark Lord."

I took Lily's hand. She squeezed it as a reassurance that she was okay.

"I have been studying very profoundly the subject for four years now and I have come to the conclusion that the Dark Lord is not yet dead." He said triumphal at his discovery. "He was yet six parts of him undestroyed."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: McGregor (Linda's last name) came from****Dougal McGregor****, a local**** muggle who proposed to Professor McGonagall. She rejected him because she was a witch. :'(**

**Quote in the Title: "The Secret Riddle," **_**Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince**_**, 2005,**


	7. The Right and the Easy

Chapter 6: The time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy

Linda's POV

I watched Lily's carefully composed face. Then I looked back at the professor everyone looked up to. The same one who just straightforwardly told us that Lily's husband could have died in vain. He had no consideration of people's feelings. I wasn't really big on feelings but Lily was like a sister to me. Professor Dumbledore just kept on talking without even a respectful pause.

"-and so Voldemort is still alive somewhere. His horcruxes are in those six places." He sighed. "However, many of those items are lost. I believe that the only way to destroy them is to send you all back in time…"

I stared at him confused. Was this the sweet and rational man that Lily had described to me? Everything that he was saying seemed so farfetched. I looked around the room to find everyone looking at the headmaster with trust.

"But Professor, there is no way to go back in time so far." Lupin stepped in. "When we were in fifth year no less."

"But there is Lupin." Dumbledore waved away his concern. "I have dug into the oldest of magic and have found something that will do. I have altered the time-turner to go back years instead of hours."

I silently gasped. Wizards for centuries have looked for the secret of time travel, and now this man tells us he has it without ceremony. The professor was surprising me by the minute. I wasn't sure I liked it.

"So we are all going back in time when we were in Hogwarts to destroy horcruxes?" Black asked simply. Dumbledore gave him a look. Obviously the man didn't like his oh so great plan said so simply.

"We'll do it, Professor." Lily said with that determined look in her eyes she got. I admired her bravery. In fact I fed off of it.

"I'm coming to." I said firmly. Professor Dumbledore blinked at me. I think he forgot I was even here.

The rest agreed.

"When are we leaving?" Black asked.

"Now." Dumbledore said as if he was sending us to buy him butter beer at Hogsmeade. I wonder why no one else thought this was a bit hurried. "You will return to this precise hour so no time in our time would have passed."

Dumbledore started showing Lupin how the time-turner worked. It looked like a normal one but there was something about it that I didn't like. I stepped closer to Lily so I could whisper without being heard.

"I don't like this." I breathed out of my unmoving lips.

She looked at me, a little sadness escaped from under her determined mask.

"We have no choice" She whispered back. She squeezed my fingers and gave me a small reassuring smile. Like I did to her sometimes.

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter**

**Chapter Song: I'll Stand by You by Carrie Underwood (Lind will stand by Lily even if she is afraid)**

**Quote in Chapter Title: The Goblet of Fire**


	8. Anything is Possible

Chapter 7: You sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve

Dumbledore POV

I struggled uselessly. I watched all this from the outside. These trustful people were going to do just what the headmaster told them to. In their eyes I could see their determination to do anything that they thought was the right thing to do.

I noticed the girl I didn't recall acted different though. She did not know me as the others did. She was weary of this absurd plan. My chest filled with hope. But no, there she was, agreeing to go as well.

My shoulder sagged with disappointment. There was not going to be an obstacle for them all to risk their lives in this dangerous mission. I watched as a hand so much like mine wave a wand over the five brave souls as they disappeared into time.

~~ /(|)\  ~~

Sirius POV

I stumbled a little as if I had jumped from a high tree. I looked around. We were in Diagon Alley.

"Remus." I frowned. "This isn't 1975. This is this morning."

"I know" He smiled sheepishly. "I just wanted to see is it worked so I barely turned it."

I nodded. Then I did a double take. I looked at my other time travel companions.

"Remus?"I asked a bit frightened touching my face.

"It's all right. It's part of the spell." Remus said calmly. "Dumbledore turned us into our fifteen year old selves as we left. It's just an illusion."

I sat down at a table close by. This was overwhelming for my mind. I was a 25-year-old stuck in a 15-year-old body. James sat with me. That girl, Lindsey, I think, sat in front of us. She still looked ugly in her 15-year-old body but familiar somehow.

She looked up and found me looking at her. She glared. Jeez, some people have no good mood. She looked at a point somewhere behind me. "Here you come."

I turned discreetly and caught sight of our 25-year-old selves walking down the alley. It was time so scram.

"Come on." Remus motioned further down the alley. We continued walking. It was very crowded so we walked between two shops.

"This is dangerous." That girl Lindsey said. "We could destroy time with a single wrong move."

"Don't be a pessimist." I rolled my eyes. She gave me an aggravated look.

"She's right." Remus took out the time turner. "Many things can happen and affect the present."

"Then let's get the job done and leave." I shrugged. Just then I felt as if I was being jerked off my feet. Long distance time travel can be very hurtful.

I staggered again but this time I fell on the floor. Hard. I think someone landed on top of me. They rolled off with a moan. Yeah right, I cushioned their fall so I was in worse pain.

"Get up, Black" That Lindsey person hissed. Why was she with us again?

"Oh sure, I'll get up as soon as I regain the motion in my arms and legs." I muttered.

"We landed in the middle of a hall in Hogwarts." Remus said quietly "We have to get out of here before we are seen in these clothes or worse by our past selves."

"I thought we were suppose to land where we were at this time." Lily helped me up. James took my other hand. Apparently nobody else fell as hard as I did. Maybe I should have been paying attention to what Dumbledore said.

"I don't know but this is the first time someone travels this far back in time so there is always new things." Remus shrugged. "Let's just get away from here. And we need Hogwarts' uniforms."

I looked around just now absorbing everything. We were back at Hogwarts. And we were fifteen again. Incredible. The castle looked exactly as I remembered it and I felt a pang of longing. Then I remembered something. I reached into my back pocket and to see if it was still there. It was.

"What's that?" Lily asked as I unfolded it.

"A newspaper." I grinned and showed her. "From the future."

I heard voices coming. Uh-oh.

"This way." I led them to a hidden passage behind an armor of a knight.

We listened as the group of students passed. They were technically "older" than us but they seemed like children now.

"Great so how are we suppose to get the Horcruxs when we are always hiding?" Lily sighed.

"Leave that to me." I smirked. I was getting my old trouble maker adrenaline back. "Come on James." He fallowed me as we progressed deeper into the passage way. The Marauders were back.

~~ /(|)\  ~~

"We're back." I whispered with a sneer. The Lindsey girl jumped at my voice.

"What took you so long, Sirius?" Remus stood from where he was sitting on the floor. It was strange but I just noticed that he was a lot thinner and his future clothes hung limp around him.

"We made a quick stop at Slughorn's office." I rummaged through the bag in my hand. It used to be mine so it wasn't actually stealing if you stole from yourself.

"Here." I handed Remus his Hogwarts' uniform. "Let's just say a potion of Slughorn's works very well so we won't be bothered by our past selves for a while."

"What about Lily's and Linda's" He asked. Oh so her name was Linda now.

"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed ignoring Remus. "Don't tell me you killed us?"

"Of course not." I waved her away. "I couldn't get into the girls' dorms so you two are going to have to do it."

"WHAT?" Lily said.

"You're going to have to put yourselves to sleep." I took out a potion bottle and held it in front of her. "Then hide yourselves in a comfy closet and steal your own clothes."

She gave me a strange look. Linda gave me a look that could be called respect. I let myself fill with pride at my ingenious idea. Maybe this mission wasn't going to be as hard as I thought. Then I remembered the items we had to destroy. Never mind then.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Song: Time by Pink Floyd<strong>

**Quote in Chapter: The Order of the Phoenix **


	9. Constant Vigilance

Chapter 8: Constant Vigilance!

Lily POV

I opened my eyes and stared at the sunlight coming in. I sighed with content. I was back in Hogwarts. I couldn't believe it. It was like a second chance almost. I was 10 years younger. Maybe I could figure out some way to change the future. I know Remus said it was dangerous to NOT do everything exactly the way it was done the first time.

"Come on Lily. Breakfast will be gone soon." The last girl in the room called as she closed the door and left as well.

I was having trouble remembering the girls' names and what exactly I did that day. I guess I was just going to have to try my best.

I got up and got ready for my first day of Hogwarts.

~~ /(|)\  ~~

I sat down with the usual Gryffindors for breakfast. I saw Sirius, James, and Remus with their usual fan club. It was strange because I knew what most students turned out to be. My heart quickened slightly at a glimpse I got of Severus. Anger clogged my throat when I saw that rat Peter Pettigrew who became a Death Eater.

The one person who I couldn't find was Linda.

"Have you seen, Linda?" I asked coming into step with James after breakfast. He shook his head. It was strange that he didn't talk much. I remembered that he constantly asked me out when we were this age. I blushed at the thought and moved on.

I finally spotted Linda walking ahead of me, bent over a book. She was good at blending. It was like she was the original 15-year-old Linda.

"Hey Linda." I walked fast to catch up with her. "Meet us in the Room of Requirements. We need a plan to destroy the Horcruxes."

She nodded and went back to her book. I shrugged at her inattentiveness and remembered that we weren't best friends until next year. So I hurried along to my first class.

"These are the basic properties of the spoon you are to transfigure." Professor McGonagall preached. "It is important to know the compounds of the object because-"

I took furious notes. Transfiguration wasn't my best subject but I had been decent. Now it was twice as hard because I couldn't remember anything. Not at the moment anyway.

Charms was easier but Sirius sat with me and he kept asking how to do things. I could not fully concentrate. I noticed that James was also struggling but he didn't ask for help. I guess it was "manly pride". It was strange though because the first time around, he had been the one pestering me.

By dinner time, I was exhausted. I plopped myself at a random seat and began eating without even looking at my food. I stopped chewing. It was corned beef. I hated corned beef. I reluctantly swallowed. That was when I heard a snort. Like someone trying very hard not to laugh. I looked up to see James who was sitting in front of me.

Sirius was beside him but he was talking to a pretty girl on his other side. James was trying to look anywhere but me, which was hard since his best mate had his back to him and Remus was reading.

"I hate corned beef." I finally said.

"I know." He said in a strained voice. He was still trying not to laugh. I wondered how he knew.

"You may as well laugh." I sighed trying to be serious-like but its funny when someone is trying really hard not to laugh.

He finally burst and let himself laugh. It was like he had been holding it in for years. And it was very contagious. So I laughed with him.

"What's so funny?" Sirius turned back to us. He seemed to have ditched the girl in mid-sentence. She glared at the back of his head, stood, and left.

This only made us laugh harder.

~~ /(|)\  ~~

Remus POV:

I had noticed Lily and James laughing together at dinner but decided to not interrupt it. Now in the Room of Requirement's they were finally speaking to each other. Lily talked friendly but James was still a little careful. The main thing was that they were talking to each other.

I looked back down at my History of Magic homework. We had planned to use this time to think of a plan for collecting the Horcruxes but it turned out to be more of a study hall.

"Why do we have to do this again?" Sirius complained after I refused to let him see my homework.

"We don't." Just then Lin came in. "at least I don't."

"Explain yourself!" Sirius demanded.

Lin motioned toward the still open door and another Lin came in. Wait. Another Lin? We all stared at both of them.

"This is my past self." The original Lin introduced her clone. "She has volunteered to help in any way she can."

"Lin, this can be too dangerous." I said carefully.

"Actually, she understands." Lin shook her head. "I've always believed in time travel so I was always prepared for a visit from my future self. My past self understands the dangers of knowing too much so she won't ask anything more then we tell her. She will also go on with her life as if we didn't exist."

The past Lin nodded. She was even shyer than our Lin. And harder too read.

"This is too confusing." Sirius rubbed his temples. "Don't try to explain it to me either. Just tell me if she can help me with my homework."

Our Lin nodded. The past Lin approached Sirius and sat beside him.

"Okay, there are certain things we have to talk about." I put down my finished homework. "About the Horcruxes."

Lily pulled her bag from beside her. From it she produced a glass tube.

"Is that one of Slughorn's potion tubes?" James asked surprised.

"Yep." She nodded. "The first horcrux."

I took a quill from my pocket.

"Is that McGonagall's?" Sirius asked. "So we already have the first two Horcruxes. Four to go."

The past Lin that was sitting beside Sirius looked up quickly. Her eyes met the other Lin's. Our Lin shrugged and nodded as if she understood.

"My past self knows about Horcruxes." She said. "There is perhaps not only a paragraph written about them in all of those dark arts books in the library put together. But she agrees with me that it is very strange that the horcruxes that Voldemort did are items this common."

"He wanted to have items that weren't conspicuous." I shrugged. I saw nothing wrong with it.

She looked at me frustrated. "This is Voldemort. He is vain. He wouldn't choose these items."

"Lin, that would mean that Dumbledore was mistaken."Lily told her gently.

Lin looked at Lily. She seemed to have given up. "Sometimes trust makes us blind." She whispered so softly that I didn't actually hear it, I only read her lips. She sat in a couch and pulled a book out.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I have been sorted into Gryffindor by pottermore. I always wanted to be a Ravenclaw but I'm good.**

**Chapter Song: Cosmic Love by Florence + the Machine (because I just discovered it and I **** it!)**

**Quote in Chapter Title: Alastor "Mad Eye" Moody**


	10. The Fool

**Chapter 9: It is the Fool Who Thinks he cannot be Fooled**

**Linda POV**

I was still not used to two of me. Apparently my past self is. She went along with her life as if I didn't exist, which to her I didn't. Not yet anyway. I was proud of myself for being so accepting and not giving me trouble. I remembered that at that age I was still hopeful that I would one day invent some way to go back in time. I didn't have the heart to tell myself that it hadn't been me who invented it but Dumbledore.

I frowned at the thought of him. Today was my birthday so I was now officially "sixteen". The first time around Professor Dumbledore had wished me happy birthday, only because I had bumped into him coming out of the library. I remembered that because it had been the only time I had talked to my Headmaster in my Hogwarts years. He had also been the only one to wish me that except for my parents, who sent a card two days late. I struggled with a rising depressed feeling in my chest.

This time around I asked my past self if I could go to the library instead of her. She agreed without question, certain that it was part of the time travel mission. I pushed away my guilt since this mission was for me, not for the greater good.

I sat in the library and did my past self's homework. I finished quickly because I knew what books to look for as reference. I stayed in my seat until I thought was the time I took the first time, with a few minutes to spare. I picked up my supplies and hugged them to my chest.

I walked quickly and, as scheduled, bumped into the oncoming Dumbledore.

"Excuse me, Linda. I didn't see you there." He chuckled.

"It's all right." This felt like déjà vu. I even dropped my quill like the first time. I ignored it because I was not supposed to know that I dropped it and come back later to look for it.

"Say! It's your birthday today isn't it?" The headmaster asked, coaxing his head a little to the side. For some reason _this_ Dumbledore seemed nicer.

"Yes, sir." I nodded.

"Well happy birthday to you." He shook my hand. I smiled at him. He seemed a lot warmer too.

"Thank you, sir." He smiled and was about to leave. "Um, sir?"

"Yes?" He turned back. I hope I was not ruining anything in the future with this. I had tried to give a little time so he would be able to go back and do what he was supposed to do on time.

"I wanted to know what you thought of time travel." I took a breath. The past me would never be brave enough to attract Dumbledore's attention like I was doing. This was probably insignificant to him but to me, I was disturbing the universe.

"As in a time-turner?" He asked.

"No. As in traveling back years instead of hours. Perhaps ten years?" I nervously fiddled with my papers.

He considered this a moment.

"Time travel is extremely delicate. I believe that the farther back you go in time the broader range of damage you can do. I myself have gone back a few times and the consequences, good and bad, are unexpected." He finished with a satisfied nod. "So I highly recommend NO time travel."

"What if the whole world depended on it?" I asked.

"It would depend how much the world would depend on it." He sighed. "But the world would have to be practically burning before I encouraged time travel. I don't believe you know how dangerous and fragile it is. I have studied it. I can safely tell you that I am glad there is no device that can do that." He started to turn away "If there were, it would need very powerful and dark magic. Good day Linda."

He left me there stunned, with millions of questions running through my head. If this Dumbledore feels so strongly against time travel, why did our Dumbledore send us back with no second thought? The world wasn't burning. I know that horcruxes are important but are they important enough? Why did I like this Dumbledore more? How was the older Dumbledore able to make a time traveler? How dangerous was this mission?

Instead of that little chat making me feel better, I felt worse. I felt as if I was walking on a thin floor of glass over disaster. With four other people. Four _careless _people who didn't understand the extent of danger of our situation.

I stopped in front of the Ravenclaw girl's dorms. I needed to go back for my quill now. Afterwards I was going to have to work out some things in the best way I knew how. Talking to myself. But this time I would actually answer.

~~ /(|)\  ~~

**James POV**

"This is too hard." Sirius whined. "Where's Lin?"

I couldn't help but smile. It was almost like the good old days when we whined about homework.

Lily was sitting on the floor cross legged. She was struggling to perfect transfiguring a spoon to a rabbit. I watched her for a moment.

"Swish faster." I surprised myself by saying it out loud. She turned to look at me.

"A spoon does not have that many properties in common with a rabbit. So you have to be more forceful." I might as well show her. I took out my wand and easily turned it into a rabbit and back.

"Okay." She tried again. It was better but still had a shiny tale.

"Here." I stood and sat behind her on the floor. I took her wand hand in mine and swished it. "You have to be firm about it."

I dropped my hand and she tried again.

"Good." I started to stand.

"Would you use that much force to change it back?" She asked turning the top half of herself to look at me.

"No." I shook my head. "Well, just a little. See the rabbit knows it was originally a spoon so it's easier.

"So the rabbit remembers?" She seemed slightly alarmed.

"It's complicated." I petted the rabbit in front of her so I had to stretch my arm around her. "It's as if his sub-conscious part knows it but he doesn't."

"Oh." She relaxed a bit. I smiled because she was defiantly the kind to be worried about animal rights. It felt good to be the one to explain something to the brilliant Lily.

Just then, Lin entered. She had on her default blank look. I've learned that she gets this look when she's hiding her feelings.

"Oh good you're here." Sirius looked up from his astronomy. "I cannot remember these stars to save my life. I never even used this out of school. What's wrong?"

Remus had looked up from his own homework since she had walked in. Apparently, I was not the only one who know recognized that face. I fully expected her to say nothing and not tell us anything but I was surprised when she started talking.

"I think there is something seriously wrong." She said in her soft way of talking. "I've talked to this Dumbledore and it looks like he has very different opinions from our Dumbledore."

"So?" Sirius shrugged. "He changed opinion over ten years."

She seemed a little uncomfortable. She didn't want to oppose us. We all really liked Professor Dumbledore. She didn't understand.

"But I really think something's wrong." She said softer.

I was about to say something when Sirius jumped in.

"Okay tell us why." He said reasonably. I gave him a strange look. I thought he would be the first to knock down any suspicion about Dumbledore.

"I think he is two different people." She took a slow breath. "It's just a feeling I have. See, I like this Dumbledore more than ours."

"That doesn't seem like a big enough reason to distrust him." Lily said gently but firmly. Lin's face seemed to fall a bit at having her best friend oppose her.

"Hold on." Sirius put up his hands like forcing everyone to a stop. He had a strange face as he tried to remember something. We all waited for a few minutes in silence, feeling ridiculous.

"YES!" Sirius jumped up suddenly. Lily, startled, flinched backward and bumped into me. I forgot that I was sitting so close to her. I moved away to give her room.

"I remember now." He said and stopped. He wanted us to ask him.

"What?" Remus finally gave in.

"When we went to the Dumbledore's office I felt slightly strange but I didn't think about it. Now I remember that he didn't offer us lemon drops."

"So?" Lily shrugged.

"I also heard some noise from inside one of his closets."

"So?" I asked.

"AND Fawkes wasn't in the office."

This time no one said anything. It _was _strange.

"Lin, what do you think?" Sirius asked looking at her.

"I think." She bit her lip. "That was not Dumbledore. And that we are trapped."

Remus immediately pulled out the time turner from under his shirt. He stared at it intently, and then slowly turned it. Nothing happened. We were trapped in the past. How often does that happen?

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Song: Shake it Out by Florence + the Machine (because I am still obsessed with them )<strong>

**Quote in Chapter Title: Joey Skaggs**


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